Of Octopuses, Scandal and Dragons
by Moonprincess92
Summary: Ron and Hermione are getting married. Unfortunately, Victoire's stark naked, everyone thinks Neville loves Hermione, there's an octopus somewhere in the Burrow and Ginny's in Australia. :Long oneshot RHr HG NL and others postDH:
1. P a r t O n e

**DISCLAIMER: **I don't own anything HP-related.

* * *

Of Octopuses, Scandal and Dragons.

Blurb …

Ron and Hermione are getting married. But Victoire's stark naked, everyone thinks Neville loves Hermione; there's an octopus somewhere in the Burrow, and Ginny's in Australia. [Really Long Oneshot split into parts RHr HG NL and other's postDH

* * *

**- - - P A R T O N E - - - **

Bonded for life.

It was a concept Harry never thought he'd experience. Amazingly, he had. He had been married to Ginny for almost 2 years now. They were even thinking of having a child. It was the whole concept of the fact that he could have all this that made him wonder whether he really was someone else.

And today, he got to be his best friends, best man.

Yes, today-Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger were getting married.

"Well, this ought to be interesting." Neville said. It was the day before, and there still seemed to be an extraordinary amount of things that needed doing.

Mrs Weasley was bustling around, either yelling at her son's and daughter, to comb their hair, or sort something out, while, folding up clothes, table cloths, or in the kitchen, baking and baking a never-ending batch of Weasley-Cooking.

Mr Weasley was in hysterics-Ginny was currently in Australia, playing in a Quidditch final against an Australian team. She was supposed to arrive that night, but no one had heard a word from her.

Harry was the best man, and being so, was running around, doing anything Ron had to sort out, before he could muck it up himself. Ron himself, was so nervous, he was likely to write Tuesday instead of Thursday, as the date of the wedding.

It was a glaringly hot day in August, and nearly everyone was walking around in either their togs, or in the case of 3-year-old Victoire, nothing at all. Fleur had been running after her all day, trying to convince her daughter to put some clothes on. Not something good for a woman 9 months pregnant. She was due the day after tomorrow.

"'arry! 'arry! I 'ave lost Victoire! 'ave you seen 'er?" Fleur had said, running past him that morning. He had said he had seen her outside with Teddy, and she had run off.

"Harry dear! Could you please go check on Ron?" Mrs Weasley asked him, late in the afternoon. She was wearing shorts and t-shirt, and fanning herself with a copy of _The Quibbler_. "I think he's in his room, but I haven't seen him all day-you might want to go check on him."

"Sure-"

"I can sort this, you go." Neville said, returning to the napkins he was folding. Luna came over to help him, and Harry wended his way up the stairs. They were holding the wedding at the Burrow, as most knew where it was, plus the fact, that it was the only place that was big enough.

Ron was looking rather green when Harry saw him by his bedroom window.

"You all right, mate?" Harry asked, standing next t him. He followed his gaze out onto the garden, where a large marquee was set up, and to where Hermione and Percy were throwing gnomes by the dozen over the fence.

"Yeah." Ron muttered.

"You sure?"

"No." Ron gulped, and drank some water from a drink bottle he was holding. "What if this all goes wrong? Weasley wedding's never go right. Look and Bill and Fleur's! Look, and Percy and Penny's! Look at your's!"

That was true. Weasley weddings were always doomed to have some sort of crisis happen before the wedding. In the case of Bill and Fleur's, it was during.

"That is true, but the only thing that matter's, is that you're marrying Hermione." Harry said. As a best man, and best friend, it was his job to do this sort of comforting thing. "As long as you marry her, nothing can go wrong. Even if Victoire runs stark naked down the aisle, and sings the Babbity-Rabbity song."

Ron snorted. "I suppose. I just never thought we'd make it. We've been through so much together. Back when we were 17, my only thought was "Stay alive, protect Harry and Hermione, defeat You-Know-Who". I never dreamed we'd get married."

"Neither." Harry agreed. "Look, I've got to go help fold some napkins with Neville and Luna, you going to be ok by yourself?"

Ron nodded. Harry left the room, wishing Ron would just sit tight until it was all over. This wedding was turning into a real nightmare.

When he was halfway down the stairs, there was an ear-splitting scream from outside. He jumped on the last step, and stumbled forwards.

"What on earth-?" He began, as he, Neville and Luna ran to the kitchen, and through the back door.

"Get-away-from-my-granddaughter-you-crazy-hooligan!" An old woman with a lethal looking handbag was yelling at a scared looking George. She was whacking with all her might, and Harry wouldn't have been surprised if his other ear came off.

"Grandma!" Hermione's outraged voice reached the vicinity, and Harry understood: Hermione's main relatives had arrived. "Stop-that! You'll hurt-_him_! Grandma!"

George was cowering on the ground. Harry noticed his wand in his hand, and Harry supposed Hermione hadn't exactly told her she was a witch.

"Grandma, listen!" Hermione managed to calm her grandmother down. "Listen-I am a witch. I can do magic, everyone here can! Look-" Hermione took out her own wand and made the handbag levitate into the air. "I found out when I was 11. We didn't tell you, because we thought a good shock would kill you."

"I-you-magic-you've got to be-what?!"

"Mum!"

Hermione's mother came running into view, her dad right behind. Both were consoling the astonished woman and Hermione grimaced at Harry.

"We figured it was for the best." She said, and Hermione's parents lead Hermione's grandma away. "She'd probably have a heart attack. Where's Ron?"

"Upstairs, I don't think he's feeling that well." Harry said.

"Not feeling-?"

"Just nervous, I think. I mean, you two are going to be bonded for life soon." Harry reminded her. Hermione grinned and Neville and Luna came to them from the house.

"Finally finished with the napkins." Neville was saying. "Who on earth was attacking George before?" She asked.

While Hermione explained, Harry heard a shrill giggle from behind a plant. Curious, he bent over it, and saw a mop of strawberry-blond hair.

"Vicka, is that you?" He asked. The thing giggled again.

"I'm hiding Uncle Harry!" She whispered loudly. "From mummy! Teddy told her I'm inside!"

"You-need to get some clothes on or you'll get burnt in this hot sun." He told her, lifting his niece out from behind the bushes.

"Oh, you found 'er!" Fleur came hurrying forward. "Victoire, you need to put on zis t-shirt or something, you will get burnt!"

"That's what Uncle Harry said." Victoire said stubbornly. She had inherited it, no doubt from the Weasley side. "But it's too hot! I don't want to!"

"Vicka! Over here!" 5-year-old Teddy threw a wand and Victoire grabbed it from the ground. The three-year-old was off, and Fleur swore in French and doubled over, gasping for breath.

"Zis baby ees more trouble zan it ees worth." Fleur said, gesturing to her belly. "I can't keep on running about."

"I'm on it." Bill came from the house and ran off after his daughter, Teddy giggling madly behind him.

"This family never ceases to amaze me." Hermione said. They all laughed.

"So is everyone here?"

"Ginny's still in Australia and Hagrid's not arriving until tonight. He's coming with Charlie. Hagrid's been working in Romania with him and the dragons in this summer-from the sounds of it in his letters, he's having a blast." Harry answered.

"I believe it was rather brave of Hagrid to work with dragons." Luna said serenely. "Daddy says that dragons are ruthless creatures, but if you feed them carrots for 2 months solid, they'll suddenly sprout antlers, and-"

"Point is, Hagrid and Charlie aren't here, along with Ginny, and as your parents just arrived, I think we're set." Harry cut across Luna hastily. She immediately turned to Neville to explain, and amazingly, Neville looked interested.

Hermione sighed and Harry saw her gaze drift over to the alter. Harry couldn't quite believe that this time tomorrow, Hermione and Ron would almost be married. The wedding was to start at 5, when it was still light.

"I'm going to get married Harry." Hermione said. "_Married_! I never thought I ever would."

"Trust me; I wouldn't trade it for anything." Harry told her.

"Hermione?"

They all turned to see a girl about their age looking extremely bewildered. She had a suitcase with her, and was looking at the many people in the back garden in surprise.

"I didn't realize you knew this many people, the weddings not until tomorrow!" She said. Hermione smiled and greeted her. Harry realized that this must be Rebecca-Hermione's muggle friend, who was to be a bridesmaid with Ginny and Luna.

"Hi, I'm Harry." Harry stuck out his hand for her to shake.

"Becca." She said with the smile. "You a wizard-thiny-ma-jiggy too?"

"Yep."

Neville lead Rebecca inside, while Hermione took up the responsibility of checking the seating plans. And checking the dresses were right. And if the flowers were there yet. _And_ whether Parvarti Patel, who was supposed to be singing at the reception, was coming.

"She likes to have everything to herself, doesn't she?" Harry asked Luna.

"It's her wedding. She's allowed. I can't wait to be married someday." Luna smiled.

"I hope you _do_ someday. I'll be invited, yeah?" Harry asked. Luna nodded.

Hagrid arrived that evening with Charlie-on the back of a huge dragon.

"Hagrid-wha-?"

"HIYA MOLLY!" Hagrid roared over the shrieks of the dragon. "WE MADE IT EVENTUALY! THOUGHT WE'D GET LOST OVER THE CHANNEL, BUT WE GOT 'ERE!"

"Hi Hag-HOLY SWEET MERLIN!"

George gaped as the dragon touched down in the front garden. They all raced round through the gate to see Charlie flying on a broom stick.

"Hey everyone! Don't mind the dragon-She's harmless." He said in greeted.

"Harmless? What on _earth _were you thinking?" Mrs Weasley yelled. Hagrid was attempting to tether the dragon to the fence, but it promptly ripped the whole thing up.

"Say hi to Norberta, Harry!" Hagrid said in a big booming voice.

"Norberta-?"

Once Harry stared more closely, the more he recognise the dragon he hadn't seem since he was 11.

"Whatever you do-don't tell Hermione was a filthy great dragon's here." Bill was saying to anyone who was listening.

"Some how I doubt we'll be able to hide it." George said in reply.

It was almost 11 when most people went to bed. Everyone had stayed up to see Ginny come home-and panicked when she didn't.

"Where the hell could she have gotten to?" Neville asked. They entered Ron's room with Ron himself in tow and prepared themselves for bed.

"I don't know-I'm worried." Harry replied. Ron didn't say anything. Harry was becoming even more worried-Ron hadn't been this quiet since Fred's funeral all those years ago. He'd worry about that in the morning.

* * *

"I'M GETTING MARRIED TODAY! I'M GETTING MARRIED TODAY!"

"Wha-?"

Harry woke with a start and jolted upright. It was 7 in the morning and sunlight was streaming into the room, and Neville was stirring next to him.

Harry could hear Hermione yelling in the background. He got up, still in his pyjamas, and went out onto the landing. Almost immediately, Hermione had run at him in a hug that almost knocked him flat.

"I'm getting married today!" She said excitedly in his ear.

"I know! Would you stop waking up the entire house?"

"But there's so much to do!" She said, letting go of him. "We have dresses to sort, robes to find, wands to get back-teddy stole them al, and Victoire's running around with one-oh, don't be surprised if you see a purple-ish squid squelching around."

With a quick whoop, Hermione tore off back down the stairs. Harry shook his head, laughing and yawing, and went back to Ron's room.

"Today's the day mate!" He said, going to Ron's bed. "You're getting married today! Ron-?"

He went to push his friend awake-but he wasn't there. His bed was empty and all that lay there was a note.

Dread filling him, he picked it up and read:

_Tell Hermione I'm sorry. This is just too overwhelming. _

"Crap." He said in undertone. "Neville!"

"I'm trying to sleep here!"

"NEVILLE!"

He pushed Neville right off the camp bed he was on. "Neville! Ron's gone!"

This woke him up.

"What?! He's-g-gone?" Neville looked astounded and grabbed the mote Harry was brandishing. He read the note three times in quick succession, before swearing loudly. "Why would he do this?! He was fine last night!"

"Actually, I don't think he was." Harry said bitterly. He read the note again-_this is just too overwhelming_. "I think the pressure got to him, and the enormity of the situation hit him. It was too "Overwhelming"."

"What are we going to do?" Neville asked in a hushed voice.

"Well, we're not telling Hermione, that's for sure." Harry said.

"We're not telling Hermione what?"

George had come in with Percy.

"_This_-" Harry thrust the mote at them. Their eyes widened when they read it.

"No." Percy said.

"No way!"

"Ron wouldn't-'

"He did!"

"What are we going to do?"

"Don't tell Hermi-"

"OK!" Harry yelled, and everyone sopped talking. "Someone has to go find him, talk sense into him, bring him back-the others'll have to stall."

"You find him Harry." George said at once. "If anyone knows where he could have gone, it'll be you. Plus I'm a wiz at excuses."

"Right, I'll find him, you guys act as if nothing's wrong." Harry said in agreement. How, how, _how _could Ron do this? Just up and leave because he got too nervous, for Merlin's sake? Where could he have gone? One thing was certain though-Ron was going to get a punch in the face when Harry found him, best mate or not.

But where to go? He couldn't think of a single place Ron would run off to. Hogwarts? No. Fred? Possibly. Work? He didn't think so somehow …

Then it hit him.

"I'll be right back!" Harry shouted, and disaprated with a crack.

* * *

"I'm getting married today!" Hermione said happily. Rebecca and Luna shared a glance, which Hermione ignored. "I mean, I'm getting _married_!"

"We know, Hermione." Rebecca said exasperatedly.

"So should we-?"

Luna was cut off by Victoire running into the room.

"Morning Aunt Hermiiiiiiioneeeee!" She said happily. "I'm going to be your flower girl, ok?"

"Yes Victoire." Hermione said. Victoire had asked that about 5 times now.

"And I'm going to wear a pretty dress! It'll be pink! And have flowers on it!"

She had said _that _about 5 times, too.

"Shall we grab some breakfast and start getting ready?" Hermione suggested.

"All ready?" Luna asked.

"Have you seen how much hair I have?" Hermione asked, gesturing her brown locks to her. "It's going to take a few hours just to make it sit right."

"Point well taken, let's go eat." Rebecca said. They all got dressed and headed downstairs. They were ambushed by an octopus halfway down.

"Merlin's pants, that things enormous!" Hermione said. It was about the size of a cow, but was half the size when she saw it last.

"Please tell me this is a usual occurrence for wizards?" Rebecca asked.

"Not really." Luna said. "But you'll be amazed at the creature's wizards and witches _do _encounter! For example, Nargles are really-"

"Sorry Luna, but now's not the time!" Hermione said. "Where's my wand?" She couldn't find it anywhere. She must have left it in Ginny's room. Great-every day since the war, her wand had never been more than a few feet from her. Old reflexes die hard, as Ron had put it, and she breaks the habit now with a 6-foot-long octopus in the way?

"I've got it!" Bill came from his room he was sharing with Charlie and Percy. He waved his wand, shouted a reducing spell, and the octopus shrank back to its usual size.

"It's amazing how you guys can do that." Rebecca said, shaking her head.

They went to kitchen, to find everyone in it panicking.

"What's wrong?" Hermione said in outrage.

"Ginny is not here." Charlie explained, while Mrs Weasley punched numbers on an ordinary muggle telephone, Mr Weasley had attempted to install in the kitchen. She was trying to ring the hotel Ginny was staying at, but unfortunately, there was too much magic at the Burrow, and all the phone did was crackle and spark.

"It's not working, Arthur!" Mrs Weasley cried, handing it to him. Rebecca jumped in when they started banging it on the kitchen table.

"What do you mean Ginny's not back yet?!" Neville had arrived with George and Percy in tow. "She was supposed to arrive last night."

"Well, she never did." They looked to the door to see Kingsley and many other Order members arrive for the wedding. "We've been trying to get hold of her. But as she's on the other side of the world …"

"I guess we're not having breakfast then." Hermione commented. "I suppose we ought to start getting ready."

Neville, George and Percy all exchanged looks.

"Wait!" Neville said. "Hermione-uh … you can't start getting ready!"

"Why?" Hermione asked, bewildered.

"Because …" Neville glanced at George.

"Because Neville's in love with you!" He yelled.

Everyone stopped what they were doing, except for Fleur, who was holding a squirming Victoire. Mrs Weasley gasped.

"_What_?!" Hermione yelled.

"What?!" Neville yelled at George, who shrugged.

"She had to know." George said. "Now that she does, it's makes things simpler."

"Simpler?!" Hermione didn't know what to say-Neville was in _love_ with her? It was completely bizarre! "Neville, I don't know what-you-what?"

"I _love _you?" Neville said, grinding his teeth and glaring at George, and Percy was looking astonished. George shrugged again. "Yes!" Neville turned back to Hermione. "I love you. And you can't marry Ron!"

"Neville-I-when did this happen?" Hermione asked.

"I don't know actually." Neville said with another glare at George. "I probably only realized a few _seconds_ ago."

Hermione was stunned. Victoire piped up "But Aunt Hermione is in love with Uncle Ron!"

"Victoire's right Neville." Luna said. "Who would have thought?" She added, looking thoughtful.

"Wizards suffer from scandal as well?" Rebecca asked. Just then, Hermione's dad came in.

"Er-what's going on here?" He asked.

"Neville's in love with Aunt Hermione!" Victoire yelled.

"What?!"

Suddenly, there was a resounding _crack_ and everyone jumped. Hermione turned to the window to see an owl clutching a letter. Percy immediately opened it and read the letter out loud:

" _'Hermione and everyone-sorry I can't arrive tonight, the final game is going longer than we expected. I could only write this now during a timeout. But we're winning! I hope I get there in time and good luck for tomorrow. Don't suffer the Weasley-discord without me (Though I'm probably causing it by not turning up) or have anyone reveal shocking news anytime soon. If you can-stall until I get there? Best of luck-Ginny_'."

Great, Hermione thought. Ginny was playing Quidditch, Neville was in love with her and there was an octopus somewhere upstairs.

Just then, Harry burst in, looking like he'd run a mile.

"Nev-Neville! George! P-Percy!" He spluttered. "Upstairs-now!"

All four of them tore off back through the lounge and upstairs. There were yells as they encountered Mr Octopus.

And those four were definitely up to something.

* * *

"Ron's left the country!" Harry yelled once they reached Ron's attic room. "He didn't take much-but I thought he'd definitely be at Shell Cottage-he went there when-sometime during the war-but all I found was a note to Bill 'I'm borrowing your kettle as a portkey-I'm going to find Ginny in Australia'. He's skipped the country!"

All three of the listeners swore loudly.

"What the hell are we going to do? Besides convince Hermione that I _don't _love her?" Neville said in outrage, turning to George.

"You told her what?" Harry yelped.

"That Neville was in love with her!" Percy explained. "Though it was a pretty good excuse, when you think about it."

"I'm a wiz!"

"Point is, what are we going to do?" Harry said. "We can't go after him, we can only hope he finds Ginny, she talks some sense into him and they come back in-" he checked his watch. "-about 4 to 5 hours. Hermione wants today to be perfect, and it won't be if everything isn't sorted by lunch time."

"Well, when are guests arriving?" Neville suddenly said.

"Erm-about an hour before? They'll probably start arriving by then." Percy answered.

"Then I need to owl Lavender-she's invited, right?" Neville asked.

"Of course-but why?" Harry asked suspiciously. "You're not going to go bring up the past, are you? Because I doubt Hermione'll appreciate the Won-Won and Lav-Lav incident brought up again."

"It'll all be planned, and as I'm all ready in love with Hermione, thanks to George." George grimaced. "We just need to come up with something, that'll stall Hermione long enough to get Ron here. Then we can explain everything, and hope she doesn't slap us too hard."

"Sounds like a plan!" George clapped his hands together. "Right-Harry, you send a letter to Ginny explaining everything and to get her arse down here now. Then find Luna and Becca and tell then what's going on so they can stop Hermione from getting ready, because she'll be crushed if she gets ready then had to get out again.

"Percy-go find mum, and help her prepare for 5 as usual. She'll get suspicious otherwise. I'll go get rid of that octopus, then I'll spread a rumour that Hermione's pregnant with Harry's baby!"

"You want _more _scandal?!" Harry said in outrage. "Look, any more stress, and Fleur'll have the baby halfway through the ceremony if we get that far. No rumour-perhaps just the fact that you saw cockroaches in the kitchen. Hermione'll panic and Mrs Weasley Percy'll have to handle."

"Rodger dodger."

"Right."

"Ok."

"Wait-" Neville said as they all turned to leave. "What if Hermione seeks me out for a little 'talk' or something? That'll just be too embarrassing!"

"You'll have to play along, but avoid it at all costs." Harry answered. They all ran from the room, Harry heading for some parchment and quill. Hopefully it'll all work out.

Hopefully.

* * *

A/N: Oh my god, even in part's, this story's still long. This is my extremly long oneshot, about Ron and Hermione's wedding.

So this is part one of three. I hope you liked it-i had fun writing it, especially 3-year-old Victoire. Lol. Just wait for the next part's-even more craziness coming your way, because what would be a Weasley wedding without it?

Reviews appriciated, until next time-

-Moon. : D


	2. P a r t T w o

**DISCLAIMER: **Not mine.

* * *

Of Octopuses, Scandal and Dragons. 

Blurb …

Ron and Hermione are getting married. But Victoire's stark naked, everyone thinks Neville loves Hermione; there's an octopus somewhere in the Burrow, and Ginny's in Australia. [Long Oneshot split into parts RHr HG NL and other's postDH

* * *

**- - - P A R T T W O - - - **

Harry sent his hurried letter to Ginny with a PS saying that he'll flay Ron alive if he didn't get his act together. Then he ambushed Luna as she went to the bathroom.

"Wha-Harry?"

"Luna, where's Hermione?" Harry asked.

"Trying to find Neville." She said. "I can't believe he loves her. Why would George tell Hermione that?"

"I-don't know." Harry said hurriedly. "Listen-Ron's gone."

"Gone-what?"

"Gone! He's done a runner! He got cold feet and left for Australia last night!"

Luna looked astonished. "But what are you going to do?"

"Stall-that's your's and Becca's job." Harry said. "You have to find Hermione, and stop her at all costs from getting ready. It'll crush her if she has to get into that wedding dress and not get married."

"Right-oh, Harry? Can I ask you something?"

"Sure, but make it quick." Harry said. Luna looked agitated, a little odd as Luna was normally easy-going.

"Is Neville _really _in love with Hermione then?" She asked.

"No."

"Oh good, because _I _love him."

"You-what?!"

"I love Neville." Luna repeated. "So I'm glad he doesn't love Hermione. That's all I wanted to know. Thanks, I'll tell Becca right now!"

She hurried off, leaving Harry rather confused. Everyone was still in their pyjamas, yet everyone was running around, with some odd job to do.

"This better be worth it." Harry muttered to himself, as then ran down stairs two at a time. Now he was going to find young Teddy. And get everyone's wands back.

* * *

George ran down the 3rd landing with Neville in tow. Neville sprinted off down some stairs, and yelled as George heard him trip and go flying. 

"You all right, mate?" George yelled. A faint "Yeah!" came back.

"I'll handle the octopus, you owl Lavender!" George yelled. He turned the corner to where his room was, and saw the giant octopus-unfortunately, he didn't have his wand (Teddy did) and it was almost filling up the entire hallway.

"On second thought I'll stick to the rumours." He muttered and tore off back down the stairs Neville fell down.

The first person he encountered was Kingsley.

"Kingsley!" George said, panting slightly. "You'll never guess what I heard!"

"What?" He asked. His voice was rather soothing when he felt so stressed, but that didn't matter right now.

Great-what rumour was he saying again? The only thing that came to his mind was the baby one. Well …

"Hermione's pregnant!" He said, trying to sound excited, yet completely outraged at the same time. Kingsley looked shocked.

"How do you know?" He asked slowly.

"I-heard her talking to Luna." He made up.

"I just saw Luna." Kingsley said. "She was trying to find Hermione."

"Oh-erm, it must have been Becca then." George said. "I wasn't paying much attention-I was too shocked."

He had to hand it to himself-he was an excellent liar.

"Well, thanks for telling me. I'll make sure Hermione doesn't suffer too much stress. I'm here to sort out that octopus-have you seen it?"

"Up the stair's and round the corner!" George said. Kingsley hurried off and he hoped that Hermione wouldn't find out he started this rumour. He suddenly had a brain wave-he had an entire shop full of Weasley's Wizards Wheezey's merchandise at Diagon Alley-why didn't he use it to his advantage?

* * *

Percy yelled as George came lumbering into the kitchen-he was headless and blood was pouring from his neck. 

Percy yelled with shock-George-headless-wha-?

"AHHHHHH!" Mrs Weasley screamed. "GEORGE! YOU'RE HEADLESS!"

She fainted onto the ground. George staggered over to the table, dripping blood all over the floor. Percy didn't know what to do. Suddenly, George raised a hand, pulled something and his head came into view. He was holding a feathered hat.

"Holy George, don't _do _that!" Percy yelled. "You almost gave me a heart attack! I wouldn't be surprised if mum died!"

"Didn't mean to go that far." He said. "How are things on the normal front?"

"Well Harry isn't back yet, and I heard from Kingsly that Hermione was pregnant." Percy answered. "You started the pregnancy rumour after all?"

"It was all I could think of!" He said. Percy rolled his eyes.

"Never mind, Lavender just arrived, looking for Neville." Percy said. "What should I tell her?"

"The truth." George said. "She's over the Ron/Hermione thing. I think."

They exchanged looks.

"Tell her Hermione's pregnant and Ron's still in love with her!" George said, running out of the room. Just then, Lavender came from outside, tossing aside her hair angrily.

"Percy Weasley, why on earth did you chuck me outside like that?" She asked.

"Hermione's pregnant and Ron's still in love with you!" Percy yelled, before running off.

* * *

Neville thundered down the first landing-where Hermione was in Ginny's room. He tore past without stopping, and burst into the kitchen to find Mrs Weasley on the floor and a harassed Percy bending over her. Blood was on the floor and Lavender was there, yelling and rounded on Neville as soon as he entered. 

"Neville! Since when was Hermione pregnant?" She said. Neville started and almost toppled over.

"What?!"

"Hermione's pregnant!" She cried.

"George …" Neville muttered. "Listen, Lavender, Hermione's not pregnant."

"But-"

"I've got a plan, follow me …"

* * *

Rebecca was completely bewildered. Luna was an odd sort of person. 

"So we've got to keep Hermione from getting ready." Luna finished with a flourish.

"Ron's gone, you say?"

"Yes."

"And we have to stall?"

"Yes."

Rebecca shook her head. Wizards were strange.

"Hermione seems like the last person to ever have a wedding go wrong." Rebecca said, shaking her head slightly.

"Ah, but she's marrying Ronald, you see." Luna said. And with that, they hurried off to Ginny's room, where Hermione no doubt was.

"There you two are!" Hermione said. "Come on, we're already 15 minutes behind."

Rebecca and Luna exchanged glances. "Look, you won't believe what's happened!" Rebecca said. She hoped something would come up in the next 30 seconds.

"Really? I don't really need something else happening. One of my good friends has just announced his love for me." Hermione reminded them. Luna mouthed "What happened?" Rebecca shrugged.

"Yes-well … er-"

Just then, there was a huge bang from upstairs. They all ran up at the steps and at the top, ran into total darkness.

"What on earth-?"

"Peruvian instant darkness powder, George you idiot!" Hermione yelled. "I have no idea where the stairs are!"

"That's the idea." Luna muttered.

"Shall we-erm …"

"Hermione?"

"What now?"

"My foot's stuck …"

* * *

Harry burst outside and tripped over a bush, almost falling onto the grass. Teddy and Victoire were sitting on the grass a few feet away, surrounded by a bunch of wands. He recognised his own in there-if only he could get his or maybe even Hermione's … 

"Teddy-Bear! Vicka!" Harry called. The two children looked up and grinned. Teddy turned his hair bright green.

"Yes Uncle Harry?" they both said at the same time. Boy it was weird how they could do that.

"You've got an assortment of wands there." Harry said, sitting down next to them. He checked his watch-it was almost 8 O'clock. "What d'you need them for?"

"Magic, silly Harry!" Victoire said. She picked up one of them, which Harry thought might have been Mrs Weasley's and waved it. The marquee turned pink.

"Uh-" Harry suddenly grabbed a wand and yelled "Accio wands!"

He didn't know whose wand it was, and about a dozen wands came zooming towards him. Once he removed them from his eyes, he ran off, ignoring the shouts of Teddy and Victoire. Thank goodness there weren't any more children. Though with Fleur, she might pop one out any second.

He skidded into the kitchen to see Mrs Weasley drinking a hot drink and Percy soothing her.

"What happened?" Harry asked, dumping the wands on the table. "I got the wands back, though Teddy and Vicka aren't that happy with me."

"George happened. And thank you." Mrs Weasley said. "He pretended to be beheaded."

Harry snorted. He knew George was going to do something crazy like that.

"And now we've just found out that Hermione's pregnant!"

"What?!" Harry yelped. George said he wasn't going to start that rumour …

"Yes, Kingsley told us." Percy said. "Can I speak to you in the hall Harry?"

Harry followed Percy out of the kitchen and into the hallway.

"George said Hermione's pregnant?! She's going to flay him alive if she finds out!" He said in outrage.

"That's the least of our problems, Harry." Percy said. "We've heard no word from Ginny and Ron."

"Guys!" Neville came skidding into view with Lavender in tow.

"What now?" Harry asked.

"Listen, we've decided that we're going to disrupt the wedding." Lavender said. "I _do_ love a scandal, and trust me-it won't be that big."

"What have you got in mind?" Percy asked apprehensively.

"We're going to announce at lunch 'accidentally' that Ron's cheating on Hermione with Lavender."

"What?!" Percy and Harry said at the same time.

"So much for not so big! Hermione'll kill you! Not to mention Ron!"

"Yes, well where _is _Ron?" Lavender asked. Percy, Neville and Harry exchanged looks.

"G-getting ready." Neville stammered. Lavender looked as if she didn't believe him but let it go anyway.

"Look, I don't think we should go for anything more extreme than … I dunno, look, just don't do that!" Harry said.

"Fine, fine. It would've been fun though." Lavender said.

"This isn't about fun! This is about Hermione not finding out!"

"Finding out what?"

Hermione was right behind them.

"Neville, I need to talk to you." Hermione said in a soft voice. Neville squeaked and dragged Lavender from the room. "Was that Lavender?" Hermione asked in amazement.

"Uh-yes! She's here on behalf of Parvarti-she can't make it …" Percy said at once.

"Can't make it?! This is turning into a nightmare!" Hermione was dressed, but nearly everyone else was still in their pyjamas. Harry placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"It'll be ok." Harry said.

"Ginny sent an owl!" Percy yelled form the kitchen.

"Got to go!" Harry said, thumping Hermione on the back and running off. They grabbed the letter and they all read it over Harry's shoulder:

_Harry and whatnot-_

_Yes Ron's here, the idiot. He says he still loves Hermione, he's just afraid that he isn't good enough for Hermione, or some crap like that. I'm sorry, but he won't listen to a word I say! Plus we're still playing-the games been going for 31 hours. _

_I'm exhausted, but Ron says he'll come with me. I say that he's being stupid, but I'm serious, he won't listen. I'll get him there as fast as I can. _

_Sorry about my writing-I'm flying and writing at the same time. _

_-Ginny xox. _

"Bloody Ron, I am going to so punch him when he gets here." Harry muttered. George came flying into the room, with a cloud of black smoke at his heels.

"Word of advice-don't go upstairs." He said. "What's up?"

Harry gave him the letter. George read it before swearing.

"Bloody Ron!"

"That's what I said."

"What do we do now?"

"Someone needs to tell Neville."

"We need to stall for another couple of hours." Percy said, rubbing his head. "This is a complete nightmare."

"You can say that again!"

Rebecca and Luna came running into view, covered in the black smoke.

"Hermione escaped on us!" Rebecca explained. "We've been distracting her from getting ready. Already Luna's pretended to be worried about never getting married herself, and I'm in love with two different men and don't know which one to choose!"

"Look, I'll distract Hermione." Percy offered. They all agreed, and he left the kitchen.

"The band's here!" Harry pointed out; he and George trooped outside, and saw a band of men in fancy outfits and carrying instrument cases.

"Over there." Harry said, pointing. They all went over to the still pink marquee and started setting up.

Harry turned to George. "What now?"

"I suppose try and act if nothing's wrong."

A difficult feat.

* * *

"I mean, the nights are the hardest." Luna was saying. Hermione was completely exasperated. "Sometimes I stay up all night. Thinking about it-will I ever find my forever? I want my forever. I can't be single my whole life. I'm Loony you know-no one would want me." 

"Yes Luna, you will get married some day." Hermione said impatiently. "Can we get back to _my_ wedding?"

"But then I see you and Ron and think-how did she get that? You two are so perfect-I want to be perfect. With someone of course. You know I'm in love with Neville, right?"

"What?!"

"Ooops." Luna muttered. Rebecca whacked her forehead with her hand. Hermione didn't have a clue what was going on.

"Luna, Neville loves me." Hermione reminded her. Luna glanced at Rebecca and burst into tears.

"I know!" She sobbed into her hands. "See what I mean? I'll never be with Neville! I'll never be with him! And because you're so perfect! I want to be you, Hermione!"

"A-All right, clam down!" Hermione said, half hugging her friend, and glancing at Rebecca. She was looking ecstatic and mouthing "Good job!" to Luna. She stopped when she realized Hermione was watching. Rebecca immediately sat down next to Luna.

"Yeah, it's all right Luna." She said. "You'll find someone someday."

"B-b-but I d-don't want t-to find some-some one! I w-want Neville!" Luna wailed. Hermione sighed. What on earth had gotten into these two? She was never going to get down that aisle at this rate.

* * *

"Hey mum, what d'you want me to do, eh? I'm here to help!" George said, throwing out his arms in a welcoming gesture. His mother just looked at him with a shrewd expression. 

"After you pretended to be dead? What's the real reason?" Mrs Weasley asked.

"Look, I feel bad for doing that." George said. Wow. He had never said that in his life. Any prank he and Fred had pulled, they had never regretted. Except for that time they put a doxy in that person's bed-oh no wait, that was an awesome prank.

"Well … ok, you can start by getting Ron ready." Mrs Weasley said. "Where is he? I haven't seen him at all today."

"He-he's in his room." George lied. "Just a bit nervous. And thinking. About how married life will bring. What is it like to be married?"

"Er … wonderful, I guess." Mrs Weasley said.

"Really?" George said, pretending to sound fascinated. "Do tell …"

* * *

At 4 O'clock, the guests had started arriving-and no sign of Ron or Ginny. 

"This is great, this is just great." Harry said sarcastically to Neville. He, and Lavender were planning on announcing Lavender's love for Ron.

"We'll have to great the guests." Neville said. They got Bill and Charlie to do it, and they directed the slow stream into the marquee. Once that was established, they went inside to see a Hermione in hysterics in the kitchen.

"Harry!" Hermione cried. "These crazy people have been throwing crazy stories and crazy problems at me all day! I'm not ready, and my wedding is to start in almost 45 minutes! What is going on?!"

"Er …" Harry glanced at Neville and Lavender.

"Hermione, I love you and I don't care if you're getting married!" Neville yelled. He went up to a bewildered Hermione-and kissed her full on the mouth.

"I-you-what?!" Hermione yelped after she shoved him away. "Neville, I'm in love with Ron!"

"Neville, since when did you love Hermione?" Luna asked. She and Rebecca came skidding into the polished floor of the kitchen and almost crashed into the table.

"Luna, he doesn't really." Rebecca said. Hermione stared, and George, Harry and Neville glared. "Oh. Ooops."

"Neville, what is going on?" Hermione said. "Do you love me or not?!"

"No, all right?" Neville yelled. "I don't love you! You want to know who I love? I love Luna!"

There was a stunned silence in which Harry marvelled at the fact that Neville just … nah, it was another ploy to distract everyone.

"You do?" Luna asked.

"Yes, all right?" Neville said. He went over to her and took her hands. "Yes I love you, and no I don't love Hermione." Luna smiled.

"In that case, I love you too." Luna said happily. This time Neville kissed Luna. Harry had to admit, it was rather sweet.

Nearly everyone gaped for a moment.

"Is it just me, or has all the laws of nature flown out the window?" George asked.

"George, the laws of nature flew out the window when we got up this morning." Harry said.

"Well this was unexpected." Hermione said. "And not trying to steal anyone's thunder here, but my wedding is happening today, and I'm going to go get ready." She hugged both Neville and Luna, then hurried up the stairs. There was a shriek and a cry from Hermione, "Would someone _please _get rid of that bloody octopus?!"

"I guess we ought to help." Rebecca said. "And hope for the best. Come on Luna."

"Luna what?" Luna asked vaguely.

"Luna!" Rebecca grabbed her by the arm, and dragged her away from Neville, who was smiling insanely.

"You all right mate?" George asked.

"Yeah …" Neville said breathlessly. Lavender, who hadn't said a word throughout this entire conversation, tutted.

"Neville come on, we have work to do.:" She took Neville's arm, and they disappeared through the front door and out of sight.

"Now we just have to hope Ron and Ginny get here within the next hour." Harry said, just as Percy hurried in.

"Nearly everyone thinks Hermione's pregnant!" He cried. "What on earth should I say?!"

"Is it distracting them?" George asked.

"Yes …"

"Then not the truth, that's for sure." He said. He cracked his knuckles and grinned. "Well, as I have an entire joke shop at my command, I think it'll go turn this into a wedding no one will forget." He disaprated with a crack.

"Should we get ready ourselves?" Harry asked Percy.

"I suppose."

"Harrrrrry! Don't I look pretty?" Victoire came in, wearing a pink flowergirl dress. While Ron was to be wearing dress robes, Hermione was going to wear a muggle dress. The wedding party had split what they were wearing between wizard and muggle, because of Hermione coming from a muggle background though the wedding was to be highly magical (something that worried Hermione's parents about her grandmother).

"Yes, you look very pretty." Harry commented, picking her up and twirling her. Victoire giggled as Fleur came after her, carrying Teddy and in a dress of purple, her pregnant belly somewhat concealed behind the folds of fabric.

"Zat girl ees running me off my feet!" Fleur commented. Harry handed her Victoire and Teddy handed Victoire a flower to wear. "I swear, when zis ees over, I will be sleeping on zat couch and not moving until tomorrow."

"We'll be sure not to wake you." Harry assured her. He and Percy went back to Ron's empty room and started to change into their dress robes.

"What _are _we going to do?" Percy asked.

"George seems to have something planned, and last time I saw him, he was scheming with Neville and Lavender." Harry said. "I think all we have to do is act normal."

* * *

Hermione looked beautiful. Unfortunately, if Ron and Ginny didn't get here soon, it'd all be for nothing. 

"Hermione, you don't think my … hair is too thick, do you?" Luna asked.

"Luna … you're worried about how you look?" Hermione asked. Luna was wearing a dress the same as Rebecca and Ginny when she got there-bright blue and very pretty in Rebecca's opinion.

"Er-yes." Luna said. Rebecca nodded at her from behind Hermione. "Because-I'm in love with Neville, as you know, and I've got to look … erm, nice?"

"You're killing me, Luna." Hermione said, whacking her forehead with her palm.

"Luna, can I speak to you for a minute?" Rebecca asked suddenly. Without waiting for an answer, she grabbed her arm and dragged her outside into the corridor.

"We can't go on like this." She said.

"I know-I think my hair's perfectly fine actually." Luna agreed.

"We need George." Rebecca wondered out loud, wondering where the trouble maker had gone.

"George is right here!"

They both turned to see him running down the corridor, a bunch of firecrackers in one hand, and a huge box of them in the other. His wand was behind his ear, like Luna has done so many times.

"Need a distraction-I've got a whole bunch of them." He said. He showed the firework to Rebecca, who looked at it. It looked normal, but if it was made by wizards, it was likely to be insane.

"Are those what you used when you used on Professor Umbridge?" Luna asked interestingly.

"The very same." George nodded. "This batch is going to be used in the marquee-hopefully it'll stall everyone by about half an hour or so. Back at Hogwarts, they lasted all day."

"We don't need them to last that long." Rebecca said knowingly. "Just for an hour or so."

"Cool." George said. He hoisted the fireworks more securely in his arms. "Time to create a wedding people'll be talking about for years."

He ran off.

"My friends are never going to believe this." Rebecca said to Luna.

* * *

A/N: I think this was even longer than the first one. I had so much fun writing this, especially the NL. Because Neville/Luna will always be canon in my eyes (And nothing will ever change that). I hope everyone liked. 

Reviews appricated, until next time-

-Moon. : D


	3. P a r t T h r e e

**DISCLAIMER: **Not mine.

* * *

Of Octopuses, Scandal and Dragons.

Blurb …

Ron and Hermione are getting married. But Victoire's stark naked, everyone thinks Neville loves Hermione; there's an octopus somewhere in the Burrow, and Ginny's in Australia. [Long Oneshot split into parts RHr HG NL and other's postDH

* * *

**- - - P A R T T H R E E - - - **

The wedding was due to start in 5 minutes-and the groom wasn't there. Well-most people were outside running around screaming. George had set off about 10 boxes of Weasley's Wildfire Whiz-bangs, and as half of the guests were muggles … well, you get the picture.

"This is insane." Rebecca said, staring out the kitchen window.

"It was seriously funny back at Hogwarts though." Neville told her. Harry, Neville, George, Percy, Rebecca and Luna were all hiding in the kitchen. Hermione was on the verge of having a complete meltdown with a hysteric Mrs Weasley and while Hermione's mum tried to calm them both down. All had come suspicious that Ron was no where to be seen.

"And Ginny still isn't here-but hopefully she'll get here in time." George said. They had received another letter from Ginny about 15 minutes earlier:

_To Harry and whoever, _

_I've talked Ron around, the idiot. I give you permission to punch him when he gets back. I already have. Don't be surprised to see the headline "Court-side brawl at Harpie's game-Weasley goes agro" in the prophet tomorrow. _

_We'll come as soon as we can, because there's no way Ron can get there without a portkey-and we could get arrested if we set up an unauthorized one. They are super serious about law-breaking here-I don't think Hermione'd appreciate it if she had to get married between the bars of an Azkaban cell. _

_Unfortunately, we're still playing. Our bloody seeker has gone bonkers trying to find the snitch-I'm convinced it's flown off and they're currently searching for nothing. _

_The only way we can get back is by a portkey waiting for the team once the game's over. So it all depends on when our seeker catches the snitch. Though we're all so bloody tired that she'll probably just fall straight off the broom. _

_I'm writing about the sorry, really am. _

_Oh Merlin, I'm too tired. _

_-Ginny xox. _

"So it all depends on this seeker." Harry said.

"I swear, I am punching Ron's lights out when he gets in." George said.

"Oi-that's my job." Harry said. "Best mate or no best mate."

"You don't go easy on anyone now, do you?" Rebecca commented.

"Harry-everyone!" Hermione came into the kitchen. "Can someone please tell me what's going on? George-why on earth did you set off all those fireworks?"

"I thought the wedding could do with a bang." George said, shrugging. But Harry could see the triumph in his eyes. Hermione rolled _her_ eyes.

"Well thanks for that-this is turning into a disaster." Hermione said. Harry sat down next to her at the table.

"It'll all turn out fine, Hermione." Harry told her. "Sure, Weasley weddings never go well, but it'll al turn out for the best."

"You think so, do you?" Hermione said, glancing out the kitchen window. Hermione's grandmother was to be seen whacking a stray Weasley cousin over the head with her handbag.

"Yeah." Harry said, hoping against hope that what he was saying was true. Hermione smiled at him. Her dress was white and simple, and Hermione's hair had taken apparently 3 hours to turn into a mop of curls (That were starting to come un-done from the stress).

"Uncle Harry." Teddy complained, running in and tugging on his robes. "Is the wedding starting soon?"

"Soon Teddy." Harry said, lifting the child onto his lap.

"Hermione darling, your hair's going frizzy again." Hermione's mother said. Hermione took Luna with her so they could tame her hair again.

"We have 10 minutes." Percy said, consulting the clock on the wall. He glanced at the Weasley clock, and saw that Ginny and Ron's hands were pointing at 'Overseas'. "Why has no one noticed that?"

"Merlin!" Harry panicked and grabbed the clock from the shelf. "We have to hide it!"

"I'll do it!" George said, pulling out a huge hammer.

"George Weasley! What in Merlin's name are you doing with my clock?!"

Mrs Weasley stood in the black doorway, watching in horror as George held the hammer poised over her special clock.

"Nothing!" Percy put in. "It was broken-so we're-er … fixing it …"

"By smashing it?"

"Run George, run!" Harry yelled, and George took off with the clock. Mrs Weasley pulled out her wand and chased after him.

"'arry? 'ave you seen Victoire and Teddy?" Fleur came panting into the room. Her beauty was glowing off her, even though she was doubled over and out of breath. She collapsed into a chair at the table.

"I'm right here mummy!" Victoire yelled, hurtling down the stairs and crashing into Harry, who was holding Teddy and they promptly fell over. Victoire got up and Harry saw her dress ripped. Fleur sighed and beckoned Victoire over to her.

"Did you know there's an octopus upstairs?" Victoire said as her mother fix her dress. "It is huuuge! I reckon there'll be millions of octopuses!"

"That's octopi." Percy put in.

"Octo-what?"

"Pi! Octopi!

"Guys-Mr Weasley's gotten rid of the fireworks." Neville said from the window. Harry and Rebecca moved closer and saw that control was finally overcoming the fireworks.

"What are we going to do?" Harry said desperately.

"Stall." Rebecca said, with a smile.

* * *

"So how are we all tonight? What about those fireworks eh? They went off with a _bang_!" 

Harry groaned. Rebecca had been doing what she called "Stand-up comedy" for the past 15 minutes, and none of the guests were particularly happy. Harry himself was waiting in a chair near where the best man was supposed to stand. Neville wasn't far off, signalling to Lavender, who was at the marquee entrance and signalling back.

George was waiting with a dozen headless hat's, and Percy was standing by with a hose pipe. Luna was at the tap, ready to turn it on.

He Harry, was there with his wand at the ready-it was all he'd need.

"Look, where's Ron?" Hermione asked Harry. Harry turned and saw her looking fierce. "If he's gone and gotten himself in trouble-"

"NOW!" Harry yelled. Luna turned the hose on, drenching everyone within 5 metres. George threw headless hats into the crowd, some landing on people, whose head's disappeared, and some falling on the ground.

"What now?!" Hermione hid behind a statue as the hose water got Harry saturated.

"Uncle Harrrry!" Came Victoire's voice. Harry cringed from the water and looked down to see her. "I'm too hot. Can I take my dress off?"

"No Vicka! Duck!" Harry grabbed his niece and ran straight into Bill, who took her.

"What's going on?" He yelled.

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you!" Harry yelled over the screams and shouts.

"Right, this is insane!" Harry heard Hermione yell. "_EVERYBODY QUIET_!"

The sonorous charm made her voice echo over the people, who stopped yelling at once. The hose was turned off, and Luna's face appeared at the marquee entrance.

"Right-first things first-does anyone know where Ron is?"

No one spoke.

"If I don't find out right now-"

"DON'T YOU DARE START THIS WEDDING WITHOUT ME!"

Everyone one turned. Harry turned sighed with relief-Ginny was storming up the aisle, still wearing her green Harpie Quidditch robes, and looking exhausted. Nevertheless, she marched right up to the alter, and addressed the crowd.

"EVERYONE!" She yelled. "THIS WEDDING IN NOW UNDER CONTROL!"

"Harry, does that mean Ron's here?" Hermione asked.

"You told her Ron left?!" Ginny said in outrage.

"What?!" Hermione yelped.

"No …" Harry said, glaring at his wife.

"Er … good, because Ron _so _didn't run away to Australia …"

"… Harry …"

"Now Hermione-"

"Harry!"

"_I'M IN LOVE WITH RON WEASLEY_!" Lavender suddenly yelled, jumping from the ceiling in font of Hermione, her arm's spread out wide.

After many outcries of shock, Harry cast a drying charm on himself. Many people were shivering.

"What?!" Hermione yelled. Lavender looked quite proud of herself.

"What?" Ginny asked anyone who'd listen.

"_What_?!" Hermione's mum yelled.

"This is the best wedding ever!" Rebecca yelled happily.

Harry shook his head. He ran to Ginny who looked as if she were about to collapse.

"Where's Ron?" He asked her over the cries of shock from the guests and the shrieks of people getting blasted with the hose again.

"He was here a minute ago!" Ginny said loudly. "I feel like I'm about to just fall asleep!"

Harry sniggered slightly, but cringed when the cold water splashed him again.

"EVERYBODY _STOP_!"

And everyone did, turning to the entrance as they did so. The hose turned off again, to reveal Ron standing there, just in Jean's and a t-shirt saying "WWW" (standing for "Weasley's Wizard's Wheezy's" of course).

"Where the _hell _have you been?" Lavender asked.

"What in Merlin's name is Lavender doing up there?" Ron asked at random.

"I am _so _going to kill you!" George said loudly. Percy held him back. Ron hurried forward and went straight to Hermione.

"I'm sorry for running off, I swear I still love you …" Ron began. He broke off when he saw Harry shaking his head frantically behind Hermione.

"Ron! Hermione doesn't care about that because she _doesn't know _about running off to the _chickens_ because they were _sick_."

"OH!" Ron said. "But remember, even though I ran to the _chickens_, Ginny managed to stop me from getting _sick_."

"What-?" Hermione shook her head. "Never mind. Let's-let's just get married-ok?"

"Wait!" Harry yelled. He went straight up to Ron-his best mate-and punched him on the nose.

"OUCH! Bloody hell, I think you've broken my nose!" Ron yelled, while many people gasped.

"That was for going to the chickens because they were sick, of all reasons." Harry said. He helped Ron up and mended his nose.

"Harry, why did you just punch Ron?" Hermione asked faintly.

"Er …"

"Never mind." Hermione took Ron by the hand and practically dragged him to the alter. "Can I get married now?!"

"Yes!" Percy and George collapsed into chairs in the front row. Luna slapped a high five with Neville, before hugging him, and Ginny leaned on Harry, and almost fell asleep standing up.

The minister-a man who looked in his 40's from the ministry-stood up, who was soaking wet.

"Ladies and Gentlemen." He said. "We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of two faithful souls-"

"What about meeeeeeee?!"

Everyone turned to see Victoire, who had apparently gotten rid of her dress after all as she was stark naked, running into the marquee, Fleur not far behind. Victoire had her basket of flower petals and promptly threw them over Parvarti Patel's head.

"I'm the flower girl everyboddddddddy!" Victoire yelled. She ran all the way up to Hermione and practically jumped into her arms. "This is my Auntiiiiieeeee Hermiiiiiooonnneeeeee! I can sing!"

"Please don't …" Harry heard Fleur mutter as she run to Hermione and took Victoire from her, as Victoire burst into song,

"Babbity-Rabbity, and her stump so Dackley! But the stump suuuuuper cackly!"

"Er …" The minister watched after Victoire as she burst into the chorus. Many guests were laughing. "Anyway-two faithful souls-Ronald Weasley and Hermione Granger …"

Ginny was asleep half the time, but Harry thought it was beautiful. Hermione made a heart-wrenching speech, including the Canary-episode, while Ron babbled on about how he was glad he was friends with her or in his words, "Erm … I wouldn't-you know, be-er … up here, getting, well-uh … married I guess …"

"Do you Ronald Bilius, take Hermione Jean …?"

Mrs Weasley and Mrs Granger were both crying by now. (It didn't take much to set them off) and Hagrid was right at the back, sobbing into his table-clothed-sized handkerchief.

"Ginny, wake up!" Harry nudged Ginny and she jerked awake from his shoulder.

"Wha-?" She rubbed her eyes. "Are they married yet?"

"Almost-"

"… then I declare you bonded for li-"

There was a huge roar that made everyone jump. Hermione screamed and promptly tripped over her dress and fell straight into Harry. They all fell to the floor and the back of the marquee was ripped open.

Norberta the dragon was there with half the marquee in her mouth. She gave another ear-splitting roar, as everyone dived under seats and pulled out wands. The muggles all yelled with fright, while Charlie and Hagrid ran forward to control the dragon.

"Well that's something you don't see every day!" Hermione said.

"I hear that." Ginny agreed. Harry helped the two girls to their feet, as Hagrid got Norberta under control and flew her to a near-by field.

"Oh my goodness!" Came a voice and Harry turned to see Fleur looking panic-stricken and clutching her stomach. "I zink my water just broke!"

Everyone just stared, until pandemonium hit. Bill hurried forward to get his wife to the fireplace to floo to St. Mungo's (Apperating was bad for babies) and Victoire jumped around with Teddy, yelling, "I'm gonna have a sis-TER!"

"On our wedding day?!" Hermione yelled.

"When else?" Harry replied.

It took almost half an hour to clam everyone down. Norberta roared in the distance, as Mr and Mrs Weasley disappeared after Bill and Fleur, and many of the Weasley siblings weren't far behind.

"Come on, we've got to go-our niece Harry!" Ginny said excitedly. She didn't seem so tired anymore.

"Then go!" Harry practically shoved her into the fire and as Ginny shouted "St Mungo's!" and vanished from sight, Ron and Hermione came running in.

"What wedding photo's _these_ are going to look like." Hermione said. She was still in her wedding dress, while Ron was in casual day clothes. It was an odd sight.

"I don't see how it could've been better actually." Harry answered. "It certainly wasn't boring."

Ron laughed and flooed away with Hermione right behind. George almost jumped into the fireplace and that's when the minister came up to him.

"Can-can I use the fire?" He asked. "I've just received an owl-my sister's at St Mungo's-she was brought in over an hour ago!"

"Sure-go ahead." Harry told him, and let the minister go.

"Where are you all going?!" He heard Rebecca yell. He turned to see her looking confused.

"St Mungo's, the wizarding hospital." Harry explained. "Fleur's having her baby."

"Oh my, this is insane." She said, rubbing her head. "Can I come? I've never seen a wizarding place before, other than here."

"I suppose-the more the merrier, I guess."

Harry instructed Rebecca what to do. She disappeared with a shriek in the flames, just as Neville and Luna turned up.

"Harry, is it ok if we come?" Neville asked, dragging Luna along with him. Harry saw they were holding hands and thought he'd never seen such a strange yet wonderful sight. "I-well, you know … we're basically called Uncle Neville and Auntie Luna anyway … could we?"

"I guess. I don't see why not." Harry said. He sent them through before going himself.

He met a cluster of people at the Welcome Witch when he arrived.

"Just let us go through woman, that's my niece being born!" George was saying.

"All right!" The witch said. "Ground floor! First corridor on the right!"

"Thank you!" George said sweetly. Him, Charlie, Percy, Ron, Hermione, Neville, Luna, Rebecca and Harry weaved through the ground floor corridors and eventually came out into a waiting room full of people, where they found Mr and Mrs Weasley.

"They won't let us in." Mrs Weasley explained. "Only the father."

"Is she being born already?" Charlie asked in alarm.

"Oh no, but Victoire wanted to go in, and I don't think the healer's would be able to handle anyone else at this stage." Mr Weasley said.

So they waited. For an hour and a half. Ginny had fallen asleep again lying over four chairs, and Ron and Hermione were talking quietly in a corner. What a wedding this had turned out to be.

"Guys!" They all looked up to see an ecstatic Bill holding Victoire, who was wearing his cloak to cover her naked-ness. "She's born! She looks so adorable, and I think the healer is about to crack-Victoire actually delivered her."

"I am going to be a healer when I'm older!" Victoire announced proudly. Harry marvelled at the fact and they all followed Bill down the corridor he came from and turned into a delivery room. There was Fleur holding her new baby. The healer in charge took one look at the party of people, rubbed his head and disapprated.

"Oh Fleur! She's beautiful!" Mrs Weasley said, hurrying forward. Harry edged in for a look and saw Fleur's blond hair-this girl was going to be one heck of a veela.

"Have you thought of a name?" Charlie asked, moving forward.

"I 'ad one in mind, but I'd like to ask what Bill zinks." Fleur said.

"Yeah?" Bill asked, sitting on the only chair. Mrs Weasley immediately chivvied him off so she could sit down. Bill sat on the arm.

"Yes-Dominique." Fleur said.

"What does that mean?" Hermione asked.

"It's zee French form of "Dominic"." Fleur explained. "But zis name eez given to girl's as well."

"I think it has a certain ring to it." Bill said.

They played a round of "Pass the Dominique" as everyone wanted to hold her. While Hermione cooed over her, Harry realized that Ginny must still be asleep on the chairs.

Sure enough, he went in and saw her. He woke her up.

"Wazzgoinon?" She muttered. "Is the baby born?"

"Come say hello to baby Dominique, Ginny." Harry said, helping her up.

"What kinda name is 'Domi-whatzit'?"

"A French one." Harry replied.

They spent 10 minutes holding baby Dominique.

"Here, have a baby." Ron said, passing the baby over to Harry. Remembering his days when Teddy and Victoire were babies, he remembered how to hold her.

"What a day." Hermione said, leaning against Ron. She was still in her wedding dress, as were most people. "We're married for about a second when we get a new niece."

"You know, technically, you guys aren't married yet." Percy put in. "The minister never finished his sentence."

"Does that matter?" Hermione asked, frowning slightly.

"Yeah." Percy said, taking Dominique from Harry. Ginny was snoozing in a chair. "A couple is deemed married from when the minister clearly states the two are bonded for life. He only got up to the 'li' part when the dragon ripped the marquee apart."

"Great." Hermione said sarcastically. "I suffer the chaos of today, and after it all, I'm still not married?!"

"You've still got me though." Ron added. Hermione smiled.

"Yes I suppose-and what did Ginny mean when she said you ran away to the chickens?"

"Er …"

While Ron invented some wild story, Harry put in, "You know, that minister's actually here in St Mungo's. He asked if he could come too, because he got an owl saying his sister's here somewhere."

"Neat." Charlie said. "Wouldn't it be funny if-?"

"Hello? Can someone tell me where Gina Mansel is?"

They all turned to see the minister himself, poking his head into the room. He looked shocked to see all the red-head's.

"Oh! Congratulations, I was looking for my sister-she's having a baby herself, you know …"

* * *

"I now declare you bonded for life." The minister said. He raised his wand and silver stars spiralled down around Ron and Hermione, who finally were able to kiss as husband and wife, while everyone in the delivery room cheered. 

"Smile!" The trainee healer said who held up a camera. There was a loud snap and a puff of purple smoke as he took the picture.

Harry could only imagine what that'd look like-Fleur in the bed holding Dominique, Bill right beside her; Ginny sleeping in the only chair with Rebecca waking her up; Mrs Weasley crying again, sobbing on Mr Wesley's shoulder; Percy high-fiving with Charlie; Neville and Luna, as bridesmaid and the other best man, hugging each other to the left of the bed, Harry next to them, clapping loudly, and Ron and Hermione, kissing at the foot of the bed.

"What a wedding this has been. And birth." Mrs Weasley added. She immediately ran forward and hugged Ron and Hermione so tight, they were nearly knocked off their feet.

"Congratulations guys!" Harry said happily, hugging his best friends himself.

"I have never witnessed a more utterly insane wedding." Rebecca put in. "But it was definitely fun."

"Yeah well, something tells me, that this is only the beginning." Harry said.

"Too right." Everyone agreed.

Ginny had fallen asleep again.

The End.

* * *

A/N: And that's it. Told you it was long. It didn't seem right to have it in chapter's, so part's was just right i guess. This was my favourite part to write. I hope you all liked it. 

Reviews appricated, until next time-

-Moon. : D


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